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K'ATLODEECHE/HAY RIVER RESERVE
Margaret Leishman is not ready to forgive those responsible for the residential school system.

Margaret Leishman of Kakisa was inspired in her testimony before the Truth and Reconciliation Commission by pictures of her late father, Phillip Simba, and her classmates in residential school. The commission heard two days of testimony on the Hay River Reserve March 7 and 8. - Paul Bickford/NNSL photo

The Kakisa resident made that perfectly clear in an emotional and riveting appearance before the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) last week on the Hay River Reserve.

"For what residential school did to me, to all our people, I cannot forgive," she said, adding she will probably go to her grave carrying her resentment. "No human deserved what they did to us."

Near the end of her testimony, Leishman wailed in anguish, prompting many people to offer support and causing some members of the audience to break into tears.

"I'm so angry," she shouted, as she struck her fists on the witness table.

The 67-year-old explained she felt rage because of what happened to her and others in the residential school system, including five of her six siblings.

"It's not OK," she said. "You don't do that to a race."

Leishman spent 10 years in residential schools in Fort Providence, Inuvik and Fort Simpson.

Commissioner Marie Wilson of Yellowknife listened intently to the testimony of Leishman and others.

In all, 25 people testified publicly at the hearings on March 7 and 8, while 11 people made private statements.

Many, like Leishman, testified for 30 minutes or more.

Along with the Hay River Reserve and Hay River, they came from Fort Providence, Kakisa, Fort Resolution, Enterprise and Fort Smith.

Almost all told similar stories of persistent negative effects from the residential school experience - attempted assimilation, loss of language, broken family connections, humiliation and varying degrees of abuse.

"It is not normal to live a lifetime in shame and guilt," said Julia Pokiak-Trennert of Hay River, adding it is also not normal to live disconnected from your family.

Pokiak-Trennert, who attended residential school in Aklavik, noted for some families there are no known last resting places for relatives taken away to residential school.

She suggested that, in honour of all who died and are in unmarked graves throughout Canada, a national memorial wall should be built in Ottawa.

"The wall would give me and other survivors a sense of justice and closure," she said.

After her presentation, Pokiak-Trennert said talking before the commission was a positive experience.

"Now I can start a completely brand-new life, like a newborn baby," she said. "That's how powerful it has been for me."

Clara Sabourin of the Hay River Reserve spoke of dealing with the effects of her year in an Alberta residential school when she was a teenager.

"I don't want to live a life like this any longer," she said, adding she has to let go of the past.

Following her address to the commission, Sabourin said it was a very emotional experience.

"I really want to heal because it's like I feel numb, and I don't like being that way," she said. "I want to be just a normal person."

Amy Mercredi of Enterprise read excerpts from a book by her late husband, Joe Mercredi, who wrote that he never experienced any violence or abuse at residential school.

"There was a lot of good that was done," Amy Mercredi read. "We should not throw out the good with the bad. We must remember the good."

Mercredi's brief submission prompted Wilson to say the commission welcomed positive recollections of residential schools.

K'atlodeeche First Nation Chief Roy Fabian, himself a residential school survivor, noted his community requested the TRC hearing take place on the Hay River Reserve.

"By having the TRC here, we are hoping that we will recognize what really happened to us as Dene people here on the reserve," he said, adding it was felt the community needed to speak out.

"It's our healing process here and one of the things that I learned in my own healing journey is that, if you live in the past, there's no future," said Fabian, noting the anger, shame and fear that come with living in the past.

Wilson said the TRC is focused on healing and education, both for individuals and Canada as a whole.

She explained the process is to help the country heal itself from the "massive ignorance" about the residential school system and the broken relationships between aboriginal and non-aboriginal communities.

It is not fast or easy work, she said, "but it is possible work."

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