Home page

Text size

E-mail this page

SOMBA K'E/YELLOWKNIFE
Finding a person who you're compatible with is difficult, to say the least. The world of dating is governed by few rules and comes with fewer instructions.

Worldwide, people who are fed up with the bar scene and more conventional ways of finding a partner are flocking online to look for love. But, what about Yellowknifers?

While it's difficult to assess how many people are open to online dating - and even murkier to discern what different individuals' intentions are with the medium - there is at least one happy Yellowknife couple who have the Internet to thank for their current romantic bliss.

John McKay and Alietha Martin met through the website eHarmony in 2009. Martin was living and working in Kelowna, B.C., at the time but has since moved to Yellowknife to be with McKay.

"It's the best decision I've ever made," Martin said about deciding to look for love online.

"My life would have been so different in many ways if I hadn't done online dating. I would still be in the rat race in Kelowna."

McKay was originally leery about the idea of looking for a partner over the Internet, but his opinion of online dating has come a long way since then.

"It's surreal," said McKay. "It would have been impossible for us to have met otherwise."

McKay moved to Yellowknife about 14 years ago from Nova Scotia. He said while he did participate in the local dating scene, he got to a point where he was in his 40s, knew that he definitely wanted to be with somebody but could not find the right person, which is a more daunting problem in a small city.

"You meet lots of great people here but sometimes you aren't meeting the right type of person," said McKay.

So, he decided to put his qualms about online dating aside and try it out.

Making an eHarmony profile was an interesting experience, he said.

The matchmaking program was designed by marriage counsellors and the questionnaire delves into who you are and who and what it is that you want.

"You do a profile of yourself and it's various categories including how you see yourself," said McKay. "They basically want you to say who you are and where you're at in your life, what your goals are for a relationship."

In her opinion, Martin thinks getting this in-depth process done upfront is one of online dating's biggest advantages over meeting someone in person.

"It's interesting because it's more real because you know that what you've put out there is honest and unique and you don't have anything to hide," said Martin. "You're putting yourself out there because you want to meet a person who you're compatible with."

After being matched through the eHarmony system, the relationship progressed quickly. Within a couple weeks, they were talking on the phone and within a couple of months, McKay was on his way to Kelowna so the couple could officially "meet."

"It was probably one of the most exciting times of my life waiting for John to get off the plane," said Martin. "It was sort of like a formality to meet in person."

There are no available figures on how many Canadians - or Northern Canadians, or Yellowknifers - have begun serious romantic relationships using the matchmaking site, according to company communications manager Joe Zink, but there are numbers on how dramatically the eHarmony system has affected our neighbours to the south.

In the United States 542 people were married every day between Jan. 1, 2008 and June 30, 2009 after being matched by eHarmony.

This accounts for about 4.77 per cent of all marriages in the U.S. during that time.

This is only one online matchmaker among many online dating sites, which suggests a very real trend in the amount of people searching for romantic relationships over the Internet.

"I think (online dating) is becoming more of a popular way of meeting people that you're compatible with," said Martin. "It's not like dating someone for six months or a year and realizing that you should have talked about the important stuff earlier on."

"You just pinch yourself," said McKay. "I really think of her as a soul mate. I know that sounds cheesy, but I really couldn't think of anyone more perfect."

We welcome your opinions. Click here to e-mail a letter to the editor.