Woman counsels national inquiry
Normalization of family violence remains a real issue
Stewart Burnett
Northern News Services
Thursday, March 9, 2017
INUVIK
Lesa Semmler was just eight years old when her mother was murdered 32 years ago.
Lesa Semmler, who lost her mother to violence at a young age, is helping advise the National Inquiry into Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls. - Stewart Burnett/NNSL photo
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"I had a family that was supportive and took care of me after, but even with that, I struggled," said Semmler, who recently attended a family advisory council for the National Inquiry into Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls in Ontario.
"As a youth, I think the hardest thing was that I just tried to be normal with my friends. I wouldn't want to talk about it with my friends, because that's a heavy conversation that you don't really want to burden your friends or anybody with, so there weren't very many people I even shared that information with."
It wasn't something she was able to deal with properly until she got older, said Semmler.
Now she's helping advise the inquiry in cultural sensitivities in this region. Eventually, the inquiry will be holding 30 to 35 meetings across Canada to gather information and find a way forward.
Her first day in Ontario late last month was just introductions between the members of the family advisory circle.
"The introduction started with just my name, where I'm from and what gives me strength," said Semmler.
Some people were short and sweet and some had significant difficulty telling their stories.
"This is not easy to talk about when it's your mother or your daughter, your sister, your aunt, your niece," said Semmler. "Some of them really had a hard time and were breaking down just trying to get through the introductions."
For a Northern perspective, Semmler told the council not to assume indigenous culture is the same across the country.
For example, she said, people up here don't practise the ceremonies many groups in the south do.
"We don't burn sage, we don't smudge, we don't pray to grandmothers," said Semmler.
"Most of the people, we pray to God up here. Not speaking for everybody, but the general population of people here don't do all the things that they do in the south. We do have our culture in our dancing, in our drumming, our Gwich'in jiggers, those types of things. We gather, we feast. We like to gather as group and support each other."
Some of the stories she heard at the meeting involved racism, said Semmler, giving an example of a woman whose daughter went missing but she struggled to get news coverage to help find her.
Semmler said she can't speak for everybody but hasn't experienced racism herself. Instead, the issue she sees is normalized domestic violence.
"I've grown up here my whole life and we come to be numb of violence," she said.
"We just turn a cheek and it's not my business. We don't talk about it. That's between them, we're taught. If we see somebody, a lady with a black eye, it would be rude to ask them what happened. I
think we've just normalized that it happens and we don't do anything about it. If we live like that it's just going to continue."
She tries to teach her son that if things start to escalate in a relationship, he needs to walk away. And she stresses to her daughter that there's no reason for anybody in a relationship to lay a hand on each other.
The inquiry will visit regions they are welcomed to in order to solicit opinions, stories and advice about how to move forward on issues surrounding the inquiry in missing and murdered indigenous women.
Semmler was not sure if the inquiry would visit Inuvik specifically, but said people will have other means of submitting their input.
It's a big task but she hopes the inquiry can help change the culture around violence.
"We don't have things in place for people affected by somebody who's been murdered," said Semmler.
"We do have counselling services and we do have these things but not everybody will reach out and not everybody is aware and there's not always supports put in place. People slip through if they're not eager at getting ahold of help. Some people will just end up back in that cycle without knowing that they needed help."
