INUVIK
Mary Kay was many things to many people.

A procession of vehicles escorted elder Mary Kay home to Fort McPherson two weeks ago. - photo courtesy of Lawrence Norbert

She was a respected elder, a pillar of the community, and a major driver for the safeguarding of tradition in Fort McPherson and across the delta.

But for many others, she was a loving mother and devoted grandmother, which often meant so much more.

"You'd walk into her house, and she'd be running around, feeding you and going to the freezer for a care package," said Kay's daughter, Diane Baxter.

"I was very lucky to be her daughter."

Baxter was not the only one. Kay, who died Aug. 23 in Inuvik, left behind more than 110 relations - blood and otherwise - all cherished and doted on by her.

She said that when putting together the pamphlet for the memorial service, Baxter considered not including all those relatives' names. A friend of the family encouraged her to list them all, because it spoke to Kay's quintessential and generous nature.

"Diane Koe said, 'That was your mum,'" Baxter said.

"'She never left anyone out, she had a place in her heart for everybody.'"

Kay was born Dec. 22, 1919 at Three Cabin Creek to Ellen Snowshoe and William Vittrekwa. The second oldest of five siblings, she attended residential school in Hay River. Not too long after she came back to Fort McPherson, she caught the attention of Peter Kay's sister, who pointed her out. Peter went to his father - who went to Mary's father - and together the arranged the union. Baxter said she wasn't sure if it was the last arranged marriage in the community, but it was certainly a happy one. The couple spent their first anniversary apart in 2015. It was their 76th wedding anniversary.

"They could never be apart," Baxter said.

"Even that year, when they couldn't be together, they talked to each other."

Kay was in care towards the end of her life, and as can be the case in small communities, her granddaughter Jennifer Tetlichi was one of her nurses.

"It was amazing, that's all I can say," Tetlichi said.

"It was amazing to have someone we all looked up to; she helped ground us when we were having a bad day, she was just always there for us."

More than anything, Tetlichi will remember the traditional teachings her grandmother passed on, right from when she and her siblings and cousins were young.

"It was all her little ways," she said.

"You didn't even notice."

Kay imparted a profound respect for other people in all her children and grandchildren, along with a rich sense of gratitude. She lived by those values and always sought to take care of others.

That didn't mean, however, that she wasn't up for a good time. Kay's Halloween costumes became famous. She dressed up as a witch, Little Red Riding Hood and Pocahontas in various

years.

Tetlichi said she knew when she went away to school that she wanted to come back to the community to help the people there, and to learn from her elders, including her own grandmother.

"It was an honour, to be a caregiver for that community, for what she has done her whole life," she said.

"I helped her, but she helped me. She always said, 'You're such a good nurse!' and I thought, 'No, you're the nurse.'"

Tetlichi was hardly the only one to recognize how well Kay had taken care of others. For her memorial Aug. 27, Baxter said people turned out in droves to help out, make food, and organize the gathering. More than 500 people attended in the tiny community of nearly 800, coming in from around the delta and from Old Crow, packing the community's gym.

"As a family, we're so used to doing everything," said Baxter.

"People always step up . It always seems to take a death or a wedding to bring people together. It was always a celebration (with Kay)."

On her way to her final celebration, Kay's body was escorted back to McPherson from Inuvik by 15 cars.

As they crossed the river at Tsiigehtchic, everyone in the hamlet turned out to wave goodbye, church bells ringing in the sunny sky.

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