Trauma, healing focus of former NHL star's talk
'When I asked for help, that's when my life started to get better:' Theoren Fleury
April Hudson
Northern News Services
Thursday, May 12, 2016
LIIDLII KUE/FORT SIMPSON
For ex-NHL star Theoren Fleury, mental health and addictions are the biggest epidemic on the planet.
Ex-NHL player Theoren Fleury gave a talk in Fort Simpson on April 28 about his struggle with childhood trauma and sexual abuse as a player. - April Hudson/NNSL photo
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That's how he described them during an evening talk at Fort Simpson's recreation centre the evening of April 28.
The talk came after a community feast. Earlier in the afternoon, Fleury spoke to young people at Thomas Simpson Secondary School.
The focus of Fleury's visit, delivered from an armchair in the recreation centre to dozens of community members, was on the trauma he suffered as a child, growing up with parents who struggled with addictions, and the sexual abuse he suffered at the hands of his junior coach.
Breaking the silence of his own abuse ultimately put him on the path to healing, Fleury said during his talk. It also opened the floodgates for other victims to reach out to him and break their own silence.
"I'm not afraid to talk about it ... because it happens every second of every minute of every hour of every day," Fleury said.
"We put mental health, addictions and trauma in these separate boxes. But they all live in the same house."
For Fleury, healing came in large part from aboriginal spiritual teachings. After his talk, Fleury said he sought the help of a spiritual leader, an elder in the aboriginal community, who taught him about spirituality.
"That's when my life started to change," he said.
"It is always the thing everybody leaves out of the equation because they're so freaked out thinking it's religion -- but it's not. It's a journey of finding yourself. That's what aboriginal spirituality teaches us, to find out who we are."
Fleury said he encourages people who have gone through trauma and abuse to reach out to community members who can help them.
"There are lots of people like that in all communities. If you ask them, they would (love) to help you," he said.
"My experience is, when I asked for help, that's when my life started to get better."
Fleury recalled the moment he decided to ask for help: Sept. 18, 2005. Sleep was always elusive for him because his own abuse happened in a dark room, and he had turned to alcohol and drugs in order to pass out.
Describing himself as "completely exhausted from living in emotional pain," one night he hit his knees.
"I said, 'I can't do this any more.' And I sort of had it out with God, called him every name I could possibly think of," he said."
"At the end of the conversation, I said, 'Please, take away the obsession.' "
It was after that he began the path to spirituality and healing. That included the 12-step process and dealing with issues from his past.
"Those are the things that keep us drunk -- resentments, things we did to people," he said.
"You've got to get rid of all that stuff ... (when) we start knocking layers off, it becomes less of a burden."
Fleury was brought to Fort Simpson as one stop on his way across the territory, which involved stops in Yellowknife, Hay River and Behchoko.
