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A place to turn after loss

Galit Rodan
Northern News Services
Published Friday, May 25, 2012

SOMBA K'E/YELLOWKNIFE
Two Yellowknife women have reached out to ensure those coping with pregnancy or infant loss have somewhere to turn for ongoing support.

NNSL photo/graphic

Having experienced the heartache of miscarriage and knowing the importance of having someone to turn to, friends Jaime MacKay, left, and Jennifer Young have launched a support group called Face2Face Yellowknife for parents and friends of parents who have suffered any type of pregnancy or infant loss. - Galit Rodan/NNSL photo

Jaime MacKay and Jennifer Young are all too familiar with the accompanying grief and isolation, having both lost one child to ectopic pregnancies and one child to miscarriage.

In October, MacKay and Young shared their stories with Yellowknifer as a first step in reaching out to other women who were perhaps suffering in silence or in need of a sympathetic, understanding ear.

Seven months later, the two women have solidified a support group, which they launched on Facebook just over a week ago.

"It's still a bit of a taboo topic which, hopefully through this, we'll be able to break some of those barriers down," said Young. "We just want it to be such a comfortable space and a safe space so that people can tell their stories and not feel like they're going to be judged or questioned."

MacKay and Young are the co-leaders of Face2Face Yellowknife, the local chapter of Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope, a website that connects women from around the world with other women who have shared similar losses and which, through sharing of photos, puts a face on the women who have endured these losses.

Face2Face Yellowknife is open to both men and women as well as friends and families of those who have suffered a loss.

The women intend to meet every second Saturday from 10 until noon, starting June 9, though the meeting times and locations will be flexible, they say.

Since starting the Facebook group, 24 people have joined. MacKay said some are supportive friends and family members but some are people she's never met.

"I assume that the strangers that are there are signing up because they need the help and support," she said. "It was nice to see some unfamiliar names and faces."

"Having the constant support of others who have gone through the same thing - you can't take away from that," said Young. "Those who have gone through it are the ones who are the most aware."

Though the Facebook page was the first step, MacKay and Young plan to promote their group through other means. They've had business cards made up and are hoping to distribute them at Stanton Territorial Hospital and in Yellowknife clinics as soon as they're given the necessary approval. They said they may put up posters around town as well.

For now, the women are being patient. If no one else shows up, they'll still have each other to sit and talk to, MacKay said.

She realizes, too, that not all women who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss will necessarily feel ready to come forward.

"Somebody who just had a loss last week may be ready to come right now and somebody who lost a couple of years ago may feel ready now or they may not ... It's a big step to go talk to a bunch of strangers even though once you do start talking to people you do feel more comfortable," MacKay said.

The Face2Face Yellowknife support group can be found online at https://www.facebook.com/Face2FaceYellowknife or through MacKay's website at jaimehomh.blogspot.com.

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