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HAY RIVER - Julia Flumerfelt is one of a kind in the NWT - the only wife of a Roman Catholic priest.

Julia Flumerfelt: No expectations on her as the wife of a Roman Catholic priest. -

It's a role she has been adjusting to since her husband, Don Flumerfelt, a former Anglican priest, was ordained in 2007 as the NWT's first and only married Catholic priest.

"Basically, my calling is to be Don's wife," she said. "So to keep a stable home and a regular place for everything that goes on is what I would say is my first responsibility."

Flumerfelt said her life is different as the wife of a Catholic priest compared to the 29 years her husband spent as an Anglican priest, including six years in Yellowknife.

"Because there are no expectations in the Catholic Church of a priest's wife, I have a lot more personal freedom," she said. "So whereas I do a lot of the same things, I don't have any official responsibilities. So I'm completely just free. I really like it from my point of view."

Flumerfelt, 61, admitted to still finding the situation unusual at times.

"I feel a pang every once in a while," she said. "When we go to big diocesan events or big church events, I'm kind of like a non-entity. I'm not staff, I'm not clergy and I'm not 100 per cent like every other

layperson either because I'm so involved. I live it like 24/7."

In the Anglican Church, there is an accepted role for a priest's wife, she noted, including retreats and seminars for spouses.

Flumerfelt said there is just no generally accepted role for a Catholic priest's wife.

"I just sort of have to make my own way," she said.

Flumerfelt said she occasionally feels some people might not approve of her being married to a priest, although no one has ever actually said that to her.

"To put it frankly, in the Catholic Church, a priest's wife cramps everyone's style a bit," she said.

Flumerfelt believes people are more likely to open up and relax when dealing with a priest, but not a priest and his wife.

"It's not what they're used to and, if I'm not there, they don't have to think about him being married," she explained. "They just relate to him as a priest and I think that's easier for everybody."

Flumerfelt said some people expected she and her husband would work as a team, but that most often is not the case.

"When I'm invited, we work as a team, but otherwise people don't know what to do with me," she said.

Despite having to adjust to her new role, Flumerfelt said she is very happy to be a Catholic and very committed to the North, where the couple has lived since 1999.

She and her husband converted in 2004, and he began studying to become a priest in their new church.

Flumerfelt, who is originally from British Columbia, described herself as having a monastic, solitary nature, meaning she spends a lot of time at home.

"I try to be available. I try to be prayerful. I try to study and to write and things like that," she said, adding her primary joy is doing crafts.

She also likes to volunteer in the community at places such as the thrift store. She is also a member of the Catholic Women's League and sings in the church choir.

The Flumerfelts have served in Hay River since November of 2008 after a year in the Sahtu.

The couple has been married 39 years, and they have three children and two grandchildren.

Julia Flumerfelt said she and her husband were not trying to be trailblazers for married priests in the Catholic Church.

"We were trying not to make any kind of political statement," she said. "We were trying to keep it on a personal spiritual journey basis, because we have no quarrel with church doctrine, of course. But I think just by virtue of who we were, we had to accept the fact that we were doing something different."

Flumerfelt said she also has to remember to respect the priesthood's aura of sanctity when talking to her husband in public, noting, "I do respect him, but sometimes he's just Don."

Vatican II - the short name for the Second Ecumenical Council of the Vatican in the 1960s - saw some changes in the Roman Catholic Church, including the creation of a process to accept married priests from other denominations.

Such married priests have to be approved by the Pope and are placed under certain conditions, called a Papal Indult.

One condition is that, if the spouse of a priest should die, he would become celibate.

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