SOMBA K'E/YELLOWKNIFE - All of us have felt it: dealing with some bone-head customer who is so far in the wrong it's making the blood rush to your cheeks and your fists clench.

Visiting instructor Darcy Pennock engages in what he calls "entertrainment" as he teaches a Verbal Judo course at Aurora College on Thursday. The program focuses on dealing with difficult people, whether at work or at home. - Kira Curtis/NNSL photo

But that natural reaction to set straight the complaints flying out the patron's mouth is not the best path to a positive result.

"We've all been there," says Darcy Pennock, an instructor in Verbal Judo, a tactical communications course that teaches a gentle method of calming conflict at work and home. "We all have buttons that people can push."

Pennock flew up from Edmonton to teach the most recent Yk offering of the conflict defusing course Dec. 9 at Aurora College, and he knows a thing or two about disagreements.

As a peace officer who spent his younger years in the police force, he has dealt with a colour wheel of different conflicts.

In his first posting as a young, "puffed up" police officer, he was stationed to monitor a stretch of highway with one other officer. Together they laid down the law, proud as peacocks. Pennock said he felt good strutting the pavement and ticketing misbehavers.

For years Pennock beamed about that job until later on in life he met a fellow who used to drive trucks along that stretch of road. That's when he found out there was a nickname for himself and his partner: Roscoe and Anus.

"I don't know who was Roscoe and who was Anus," Pennock laughs, "but both were earned."

It wasn't until Pennock was in his 30s that he went down to Florida to take a course called Verbal Judo: the gentle art of persuasion by Dr. George J. Thompson.

Pennock said he thought he knew how to deal with difficult people and was only taking the program to learn how to teach others the skill. His way was to tell people how it was and where to stick it and that was the best way.

But Pennock said as soon as Thompson began speaking, his entire foundation of conflict resolution crumbled. In a profound turnaround of his beliefs, Pennock realized his natural response and first reactions were all wrong.

"The first words that come to your lips can be disastrous." Pennock tells the class. "Words destroy self esteem."

Thompson's lessons stuck with Pennock. Now he's Thompson's only certified Verbal Judo instructor in Canada.

He teaches people of all walks of life, from law enforcement to retail workers to stay-at-home moms. The delivery is catered to each audience, but the lesson is the same.

Karen Horn, Continuing Education co-ordinator for Aurora College's Yellowknife campus, said the class is popular and the next one with Pennock is booked for Feb. 21 to 22.

"(We are) also hoping to run a three-day course," Horn says thinking of her 2011 schedule with Pennock. "We're hoping for managers and supervisors to take it."

We welcome your opinions. Click here to e-mail a letter to the editor.