I am a reasonably light sleeper, so I awoke one morning a bit startled to the sound of something crashing through the bushes behind my house. My primordial brain said danger, a bear or some other big predator is coming to get you, then my rational brain kicked in, no it is probably just a dog or a human, because they make far more noise moving through bush then the wild critters do. Regardless, I got up to investigate.

In the city, a human stomping through your backyard could be far more dangerous then a critter in the wild. That is a bit of a sad commentary on our world but it is true. I have a healthy respect for the wildlife, but you are far more likely to get hurt by a human in civilization then you are to be attacked by an animal in the wilds.

As it turns out, it wasn't a drunken homicidal maniac, an escaped convict looking for food or a drug-crazed home invader. It was just a worker mucking about with my temporary water line.

During the replacement of the water and sewer lines in the neighbourhood, water to the houses came from a fire hose running behind them. They were turning that system off and switching the houses over to the newly installed underground lines. All the houses on the street had great flow and pressure except for, you guessed it, mine. Out of my taps came a trickle and the shower was a pathetic dribble. Oops, we have got a problem. The worst-case scenario would mean digging the lines up, yet again, to find out what was causing the blockage.

I am sure that the workers, foremen and the city were saying to themselves, "Why oh why, of all the houses in the neighbourhood to have a problem, why does it have to be this one." I know I was thinking that. Luckily, they discovered that replacing the old water meter solved the problem and everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief.

Now, getting back to sounds in the bushes. I have had a lot of encounters with bears over the years and I am always amazed at just how quietly they can move through the forest and even thick bush. It is not that they are trying to sneak up on you; it is just the way they travel. Bears tearing apart logs to get at the ants can make quite a racket and they can crash through the bush if startled, but when walking, they are quiet. Moose and other big animals can do the same thing. So, if you hear an animal moving through the bush, it is usually one of the smaller critters making the racket.

Last year I was walking up a hill and suddenly there was a tumult of noise and violent shaking of branches coming from a thicket of willows I was beside. It gave me quite a fright and then, a duck flew out. A duck! I was a good kilometre from the nearest lake! What the heck was a duck doing in the willows and why was it lying in wait to scare the beejeebers out of me?

It was a type of duck that often nests far inland, probably a golden eye. I had gotten too close to its nest, so it was trying to distract me away from its young. I didn't want to disturb the little ones, so I pretended I didn't see them hiding there and moved on. A lot of birds like loons, spruce hens and even nighthawks will try to lure you away from their nests. Geese on the other hand just attack, and trust me you don't want to mess with an angry goose.

I find it interesting that most dogs are like their owners and they make a heck of a commotion going through the bush. On the other hand, I have seen foxes and wolves go through the same bush silently. I suppose when your next meal depends on your stealth, you soon learn to move quietly.

So the moral of this column is: if you hear a noise in the bush or your backyard, try to discover what is making it, before you panic or start shooting.

- Walt Humphries is a well-known Yellowknife artist and prospector