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By Daron Letts
Northern News Services
Published Thursday, January 29, 2009

SOMBA K'E/YELLOWKNIFE - Drugs and booze in his bloodstream, a butcher knife concealed up his sleeve and his paranoid gaze scanning the streets for rival gang members or cops ready to bust down his door, Shawn Bernard was tweaking.

"It's not a good life," Bernard said. "I'm really fortunate to be alive today."

Hip hop artist Shawn Bernard, a.k.a. Feenix, raps for William McDonald and St. Joe's students. A crowd of students asked Bernard to autograph their notebooks and iPods following the performance. Bernard is scheduled to perform for Sir John Franklin high school students this afternoon. - Daron Letts/NNSL photo

Only a few years since escaping the violence of Edmonton's street gangs, the 36-year-old hip hop artist shared his personal story of addiction, crime and redemption with students at several local schools this week.

Bernard's Northern speaking tour is part of an effort to expose students in both Yellowknife school boards to successful aboriginal music artists who are connected to their culture.

Yellowknife's Leela Gilday also visited area schools last week and next week Fort Smith rocker Veronica Johnny will bring her Toronto-based band The Johnnys into school gymnasiums around town.

Bernard's first two albums, released under his stage name, Feenix, were honoured with Canadian Aboriginal Music Award nominations for best hip hop album in 2007 and 2008. His second video will soon air on Much Music.

However, Bernard's hip hop career did not always shine so bright.

Bernard grew up as a Cree-Metis boy without status in a family suffering poverty and substance abuse on Edmonton's skid row. Both of his parents died of overdoses.

By age 10, Bernard was already addicted to alcohol, sniffed solvents, popped Valium and knew how to wrap a vein to inject intravenous drugs.

In and out of prison throughout his teens, Bernard eventually graduated to dealing cocaine and committing robberies as a gang member.

It was a brutal lifestyle. He had teeth kicked out and his body is criss-crossed by seven stab wound scars, he said. A titanium plate knits the bones together in his forearm.

When Bernard's sister, Chrissy, died of an overdose while he was serving time in jail for a stabbing a few years ago, the emerging rap star finally committed to quitting drugs and booze.

"It's called getting high but it's really a low," he told students. "You're shaky. You're sweaty. You're nervous and you feel dirty."

Today Bernard works with youth in an Edmonton group home and is raising his sons in a drug-free household, he said. Elders help him to build his spiritual relationship with his culture and identity.

"What comes around goes around," he said. "I know that the good things in my life today come from all the good things that I'm doing."

He suggested that students care for their future by avoiding the mistakes of drug abuse and gang violence. With a diploma, degree or certificate in their hands, students can move ahead to focus on whatever makes them happy, he said.

"We all have a talent and I believe that's what we're supposed to do to pay the bills," he said following his first of two talks at William MacDonald school on Tuesday. "I think parents and teachers can be as supportive as they can by listening to what a kid wants to do with their lives. If parents don't have the resources they should look into agencies that can help. Get kids busy doing something they like to show them the good things that can come out of it."

In addition to his performance for William MacDonald and St. Joe's students on Tuesday, Bernard visited Mildred Hall, Weledeh and Range Lake schools. His schedule included a show in Dlilo and an appearance in the young offenders facility.

"It was exciting and hyperactive," student Damien Kayotuk said, while lining up for Bernard's autograph. "Trust me, I never stopped clapping for two seconds during the whole thing."