SOMBA K'E/YELLOWKNIFE - Naomi Manuel fell silent while telling the story of how her two-year-old son Cole was murdered by his father on Dec. 1, 2002.

"I didn't have the time - to give him the hug and the final moment of love, that I would have liked to have had with him," she said, choking back tears.

Alberta resident, Naomi Manuel delivers an emotional story of abuse suffered in a relationship that ended with the death of her two-year-old son, during a lecture on family violence at the Elks Hall on Tuesday. - Ben Morgan/NNSL photo

The Alberta resident told her story to a large group of Yellowknifers at a lecture on family violence held by Yellowknife Victim Services and the NWT Native Women's Association on Tuesday at the Elks Hall.

She had been terrified of Cole's father - often referring to him with a pronoun, instead of using his name - and of what he might do to her and her son.

She had a restraining order against Grant Harder, but was haunted by emotional and psychological abuse persistent throughout their relationship, she said.

Earlier, in July, she was assaulted in their home - bound with tape and choked.

"I thought 'This is it, I'm going to die tonight.'"

She moved out of the house the next day and began a custody battle that allowed the father unsupervised visitation with the boy on weekends.

"On Dec. 2, I got the notification that my son was murdered and that Grant had committed suicide," she said.

Since that time Naomi Manuel has spoken to groups about her experience, hoping she can bring a greater meaning to the tragic loss of her son by educating others about the prevalence of family violence.

"It can affect anyone," said Manuel. "I don't think it has to be this way. I think that by talking about this issue in the community that we can bring about positive change."

Liisa Prosyk, co-ordinator for Yellowknife Victim Services, said she has seen many examples of family violence.

"Statistics indicate that women are far more likely to suffer abuse in relationships," she said, adding that violence and abuse are about entitlement, power, control and dominance.

"The fact is, violence and family violence are complex. Victims resist in many different ways - ways that are often overlooked and misunderstood by others."

Prosyk said too often victims are blamed for their own situation, as people think it takes two to tango.

But she said it is possible for one person to tango with another who doesn't want to dance.