Yellowknifer rounds up some of the city's most entertaining police reports

Erika Sherk
Northern News Services
Wednesday, March 21, 2007

YELLOWKNIFE - Crimes are not happy occurrences. However, some criminals are so inept, and some incident reports so wacky, that laughter bursts out in the dark, dark world of crime.

When it comes to Yellowknife's criminals, "some are not the brightest," says detachment commander Insp. Roch Fortin.

A woman was given one month in jail for possession of a stolen canoe stemming from an incident last August. She was found in distress on Yellowknife Bay by the coast guard and they helped her to shore. -

Yellowknifer has compiled 10 of our favourite recent police stories:

1. The makings of an exciting evening (Dec. 20)

Items stolen during break and enters that week included a Playstation console, a black bear rug, a fur coat and a bottle of olive oil.

2. Honest, it's the latest fashion accessory (Feb. 17)

A 14-year-old was charged with shoplifting after a mall employee noticed the boy was wearing jeans with the price tags still hanging off of them.

3. Not drunk, just new (Dec. 13)

A driver was pulled over after he was seen weaving all over the road. Police discovered it was a new NWT driver, recently arrived from India, who was "not familiar with driving on ice and snow," said Const. Roxanne Dreilich.

4. Stolen: one night of memory (Feb. 23)

RCMP received a report of a stolen vehicle, which turned out to be unfounded.

It seems that a woman left her car at work and in the process of becoming intoxicated, had forgotten that she had done so, said Dreilich. The woman was placated when shown her car -- at work, safe and sound.

5. Busted by grandma (March 7)

The grandmother of a 16-year-old boy reported him to police after suspecting that he was smoking marijuana. RCMP confiscated the remains of a burnt joint.

6. Pushed in the face? (July 14)

A 28-year-old man was charged with assaulting a member of the police after he pushed an officer in the face and attempted a head-butt on July 5.

7. Finger lickin' good (Jan. 17)

A man was charged with shoplifting at an Extra Foods grocery store after "He took a cooked chicken and ate it," said Dreilich.

"Then he tried to hide the packaging on a shelf and tried to leave."

8. A steal of a seafood deal (Oct. 4)

A man walked into an Extra Foods store without a coat, stole a new one and hid two bags of king crab legs in it. Police caught up with him after he left the store. "The jacket was found. The crab was not," reported Dreilich.

9. A lesson for all would-be pawn sharks (March 14)

A man was charged with theft after trying to sell a guitar he had stolen from Centre Square Mall. His sales location of choice was ... Centre Square Mall.

10. Taking driving lessons from number 3 (Jan. 6)

A police cruiser ended up firmly stuck between two buildings in early January. Chasing a suspect, the car hit ice and slid into a narrow alley, winding up wedged between the walls. A tow truck had to be called.