Darrell Greer
Northern News Services

Rankin Inlet (Oct 05/05) - When Bruce Anderson first found out that one of his five daughters, Debbie Bruinsma, needed a kidney transplant, he chose optimism over fear.

Although concerned for his daughter's well being, he never let his faith waver that she would come through the procedure OK.

Bruce and Judy Anderson rode an emotional roller-coaster while their only son, Stan Anderson, was donating a kidney to one of their five daughters, Debbie Bruinsma. - photo courtesy of Lana Armitage

"As afraid as I was, I never really believed we were going to lose her," said Bruce.

"We know others who have had transplants and, although there were some side effects, they were all successful.

"So, that connection with those people is probably why I was so optimistic."

The testing for a suitable donor was a nerve-wracking experience for the entire family.

Bruce and his wife, Judy, were told early in the procedure that parents are rarely selected and that weighed heavily on his mind.

He said when they got the news their only son, Stan Anderson of Rankin Inlet, had tested positive and decided to go ahead with the transplant, they were quite concerned because they knew the donor almost always has a harder time after the surgery than the recipient.

His voice wavers as he talks about his feelings at the time, taking a moment to compose himself before continuing on.

"We were so happy Debbie was going to have a new lease on life.

"It still chokes me up a little bit to think about the pride we felt when Stan said yes to the surgery, even though his decision came as no surprise to us. "I wished it had been me, but I knew Stan would say yes because he's always been such a giving person."

Bruce said the change in their daughter was evident immediately after the surgery.

He said while the change in her complexion after the surgery was dramatic, it pales in comparison to the upswing in her emotions.

"She was so excited about everything, really talkative and energetic.

"She was more like the old Deb, with lots of drive and a real passion for living.

"The whole family gave their support to the two of them and that makes us quite proud."

Dealing with the news

Judy said words can't describe the emotions that raced through her when Debbie first spoke of her condition.

As she heard the words coming over the phone, her knees went weak and the room began to spin.

"I didn't know what to say once Debbie's words started to make sense to me," said Judy.

"I wanted to go right out and see if I was a compatible donor to give her one of my kidneys.

"I had to do something to help my daughter and giving her one of my kidneys was all I could think of, but it wasn't to be.

"Like any mom, I was wishing it was me rather than one of my children."

Judy and Bruce knew right away their son, Stan, would agree to the transplant once he was found to be a compatible donor.

And, suddenly, they found themselves worried about two of their children.

"At first, Stan being the donor frightened me a lot because he has a young family," said Judy.

"Then I looked at the bright side because Stan was willing and I knew what a help it would be for Debbie.

"Stan's decision took a huge weight off us, but it was tough worrying about the two of them."

Looking back, Judy said everyone in the family dealt with a bit of inner-guilt during the testing period.

"When you first find out you're not compatible there's this sudden feeling of relief that the burden of making the decision is taken out of your hands.

"It's just an impulse that doesn't last long, but, even though you know it wasn't your fault, you sure feel guilty about feeling that way.

"Everyone felt that relief except our son. The burden all fell on Stan."

Judy said Stan's wife, Jukipa, was a pillar of strength throughout the ordeal.

"She made me feel so wonderful inside when she told me if the situation were reversed, she knew Stan would want her to donate a kidney to her sister.

"It was such a relief to know she had no second thoughts about him doing this."

With the transplant a success, Judy describes the difference in her daughter as being night and day.

She said it's wonderful to see Debbie enjoying life again.

"I really believe in the back of her mind she thought this was the end.

"Now, all of a sudden, she's got a second chance and she's really making the most of it."