Darrell Greer
Northern News Services

Rankin Inlet (Sep 28/05) - The words Debbie Bruinsma, 49, heard her doctor speak almost two years ago turned her world upside down.

The Cochrane, Alberta, native thought she was suffering from a stubborn cold that wouldn't go away.

A blood test and three days later, she sat in silence as the doctor told her she only had one kidney left and it was only functioning at 5 per cent efficiency.

Her kidneys had been slowly failing for years.

One had completely dissolved away and the other was giving out fast.

"It was chronic kidney failure, which was going to happen no matter what I did," said Bruinsma."I went on paranternal dialysis... they put fluid into the cavity around your stomach and organs to do the job of the kidney.

"I kept getting infections, so I had to start on a dialysis machine three days a week, four hours at a time.

"The best way I can describe dialysis is to say I don't miss it at all!"

When Bruinsma first realized the gravity of her situation, her instincts demanded she call her mother.

Although she felt relieved to talk about it with her mom, the relief quickly turned to guilt when she hung up the phone.

"After I phoned, I regretted it because I didn't want Mom worrying about me.

"It's a strange feeling because if something was wrong with one of my five children or my partner, Ken, I'd want to know about it.

"Yet, I felt bad because I didn't want to be upsetting my parents over what I was going through. "Once you become a parent, you never stop worrying about your children.

"You think it will stop once they're all grown up, but it never does. You always worry about them."

Bruinsma was quick to find out worrying isn't the private domain of a parent.

Her kids were scared from the moment they heard the news, although they tried hard not to show it.

They quickly volunteered to be tested as donors and four of the five tested positive.

Siblings, however, are preferred donors to a recipient's children.

"They were always around to help out with things, and they tried hard to keep my spirits up.

"They were always calling to ask how I was doing.

"All the questions about how I was doing started to get a bit annoying because I was trying so hard not to think about it all the time.

"It's always on your mind, and it's scary because you feel so helpless.

"You're in this situation and there's nothing you can do to get yourself out.

"When you're in that position, your life just stops. It's like being stuck in limbo."

The inner conflict didn't get any easier when compatibility testing began on her sisters and one brother, Stan Anderson of Rankin Inlet.

When Anderson phoned to tell her he was the only match among the siblings, she was torn again.

"As grateful as I was, I still found it hard to accept because it's harder to take than to give in a situation like this.

"It really bothered me for awhile. I was so worried about Stan, but there was no hesitation on his part at all."

Bruinsma said the medical team assigned to her was quite thorough in the "work up" to her transplant.

She endured a battery of testing, both mental and physical.

"The donor is more involved with the phycological evaluation because you don't want anyone to feel they're being forced into something they don't want to do.

"With the recipient, it's more a case of making sure they're not feeling overly guilty about a sibling donating.

"There's people out there who will actually try to sell their kidney, so they have to go over each case on an individual basis."

Bruinsma grew increasingly excited as the day of the surgery approached.

Convinced it was her best option, she was more worried about her brother than her own well-being.

"Stan never had an operation in his life that I knew of.

"He fainted at the sight of a needle once when he was really young, so I was concerned for how he would stand up through it all."

The operation went smoothly and Bruinsma's new kidney started to work before she was sutured.

Although still on a strict drug regiment to curb rejection and lower her immune system, she finds herself in a whole different frame of mind since the transplant.

"I felt like my old self again the very next day - like this huge burden was lifted and life became fun again.

"Just knowing I didn't need dialysis any more put a smile on my face.

"Stan and I were always the most alike in our family, both physically and personality wise.

"But now, not only is he my best brother - he's my hero for life."