Bill Gawor
Northern News Services

Yellowknife (Apr 06/05) - There's a TV program currently on the go that I really get a kick out of. It is called The Survivorman.

The main reason for my interest is to see how many mistakes, or foolish incidents, I can spot that the main character is trying to put over on the viewers.

Basically, the plot is very simple.

It is about this guy, Les Stroud, who gets himself intentionally stranded in the boonies.

He's completely alone, without shelter, food or matches, being tested by the environment.

Whatever happens, he's on his own. It's man versus the elements.

Be it on a tropical island, a Louisiana swamp or the north coast of Baffin Island, his task is always the same - to film himself surviving for seven days all alone.

The only aids he is permitted are the few things he has with him.

The idea is for him to make the best of whatever the immediate environment has to provide.

His script usually comes up with all kinds of little sayings, trying to dramatize the program.

He must stay focused, deal with the stress, stop thinking, yet remember: stop trying and you die.

Anyway, it was from one of his earlier films that I first got an inclination that he may be a prime candidate for the "Hardly Know It Hall Of Fame."

In that particular situation, he was stranded in the Ontario bush.

There were all kinds of red squirrels around, so he built an elaborate deadfall trap and baited it with his last piece of beef jerky.

Well, the squirrels got the bait and Les went hungry.

Even a nine-year-old kid would have had sense enough to chase the squirrel up a tree, then take his time throwing rocks until it fell or got away.

In other episodes, he gushes with pride in finding a few miserable berries, flowers or mushrooms which he gobbles up with gusto.

Love those eyes

In the Pond Inlet segment, he actually eats two - that's two - willow catkins or pussy willows!

Eventually, once he is rescued, Les shamelessly hams it up for the camera eating raw seal eyeballs.

In another film, while surrounded by all kinds of B.C. forest, he breaks his camera tripod to make a ridge pole for a shelter made out of his aluminum foil emergency blanket.

Then, he breaks his camera apart to get at the lens. With this, he is able to make a signal fire and is lifted out by a chopper.

But, let's get back to the Arctic episode. It's spring, in May, and he suggests the temperature has dipped to -30C when he set off on his misadventure by snowmobile.

Along the way, he comes across blooming pussy willows and the odd herring gull.

After nine hours of travelling over the sea ice he pretends his Ski-Doo breaks down.

Which is where we'll pick it up next week...