Yellowknife (Dec 08/04) - Fifteen years to the day after the massacre of 14 female students at Montreal's Ecole Polytechnique, a broad spectrum of Yellowknifers gathered at the Legislative Assembly to speak out about violence against women.

Dawn Lacey lights a candle at a vigil to remember women affected by violence. The event, held Monday at the Legislative Assembly, marked the 15th anniversary of the Montreal Massacre. - Alex Glancy/NNSL photo

Dec. 6 is now a national day of remembrance for victims of violence everywhere and in Yellowknife people gathered to light candles, hear speeches, and show that the deaths of the 14 women are galvanizing still.

But the crowd gathered at the Legislative Assembly were also there to remember their own sisters, mothers, friends and neighbours affected by violence at the hands of men.

Carolyn Johnson stepped forward to share her own story, a harrowing tale of domestic abuse. An alcoholic father -- who in turn drove Johnson's mother to drink to the point where suicide attempts were a daily occurrence -- followed by a series of destructive and occasionally abusive relationships prompted her to step forward and share her message.

"Prince Charming died with Snow White -- he's dead," Johnson told the women in the audience.

She spent years wedded to the idea of finding a man to look after her, and said it was all a mistake. Johnson has now put her experience to use by helping other women escape abuse.

Johnson's biggest concern, she said, was for the future of children in abusive homes.

"When I was seven, that was the last of the good times I remember as a child," she said.

"Nobody helped, nobody cared. Nobody came to our aid. We were left alone in a very violent home."

Men also spoke at the candlelight vigil, offering their own insights and occasional apologies for acts committed against women everywhere.

"I've heard stories and read files that make my heart ache," said David Harder. "I'm embarrassed to be a man sometimes."

Harder told the audience he was frustrated by the lack of resources for assisting female victims of violence and the men who abused them.

"I don't think locking them away will solve the problem. In fact, I think it will perpetuate the problem," he said.

Ultimately, said Harder, "as long as we tolerate violence in any form we won't have a safe, secure environment.

"We live in a society that promotes violence in general."

Maj. Al Hoeft of the Salvation Army stood before the audience and said "my prayer is that my sons will learn from me how to honour the women in their lives," and that his daughter would demand the respect due to her.

Apart from the 14 students, another spectre hung in the air at the vigil: the memory of Louise Pargeter, the Yellowknife parole officer slain on the job in August. Tracy Riley, Leslie Bader and Rick Poltaruk performed a song written in Pargeter's honour.

"She is greatly missed. I think we all feel that way," said Riley.

In years past, Pargeter had attended the vigil as a participant.

"In your daughter's eyes," sang Riley, "you will always be."

-- with files from Chris Hunsley