Yellowknife (Mar 14/03) - Family support worker Donna Mills was recently asked by a school principal how she can meet with people and delve into their lives so often.

On Tuesday afternoon, seated in one of the meeting rooms at the Centre for Northern Families, Mills' answer to that question was the same: "I don't know. Maybe it's part of my training, maybe it's because I like my job."

Mills has been helping families with everything from housing problems to coping with their troubled children, for the last five years.

"I think confidence may play a part," said Mills, trying to nail down just what it takes to be a good social worker. "Experience definitely helps, training definitely helps, how to listen to people -- basically what you do is listen to people."

Mills thinks the key to being an effective social worker lies in simply not judging people.

"That gives you the freedom to accept the other person. And that gives them the openness to be accepted."

As a single mom with a 19-year-old son and 17-year-old daughter, Mills brings personal experience to the job.

"In my experience as a single parent, people don't understand because they've got their own stuff. So you run into brick walls all the time because everything in our society is in a box. No matter where you go."

She wants to tear down brick walls for her clients and dismantle all the barriers that may keep them from enjoying life.

But she said: "I don't do advice," with a laugh. When pressed, she said, "The advice I would give parents is that you're your own expert. You know your children. So I'll help you get what you need.

"I don't have any tips for them, except keep doing what you're doing. If you need help, you'll ask me."