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Labour and budget woes won't stop Christmas

Terry Halifax
Northern News Services


Inuvik (Dec 20/02) - It might be one of the toughest years he's put in yet, but Santa says he's already to fly the sleigh south. Good girls and boys can be assured that there will be something sweet in every stocking and something nice under the tree, but Santa said it wasn't easy

"I've just about finished loading the sled and the reindeer are chomping at the bit," Santa said.

Plagued with labour problems and a shrinking per capita budget, Santa said he worried that the presents might not get off the ground this year.

"We had some recruitment and retention problems with the elves this year," Santa said. "It's been an on-going problem, but this year it really came to a head."

Santa explained that the elves were being lured south with promises of American dollars and big tax breaks to work in the U.S.

"They are getting big bucks to work as stand-ins for Lord of the Rings and Star Wars characters in Hollywood," he said.

A shortage of workers in the shop meant an added workload for the elves that remained at the North Pole.

Two years ago, the elves had joined the Union of Northern Workers, but last year organized their own union when the UNW allowed a separate bargaining unit.

"They were lumped in with doctors, nurses and janitors," Santa said.

Tensions mounted over the summer, when the frazzled elfin workforce dropped their tiny tools and went out on strike.

"They wanted higher wages, housing and a Northern living allowance," Santa recalled. "We offered bingo on Wednesdays and fiddle music every Saturday night and they went for it."

He said he'd like to pay the elves more and offer proper housing, but the money just isn't there. Santa blames the federal government.

"The Minister of Indian and Northern Affairs has been dragging his feet on this resource revenue sharing thing since I was making his Lego blocks," Santa lamented. "My shop has 10 times the gross domestic product of Canada, but all they give me to operate on is crumbs."

With his workload growing each year, the big elf says he just doesn't think he can continue to keep producing more and more with less and less. He needs infrastructure dollars for research and development and a bigger airstrip, but would prefer a road built to the Pole.

"All our raw materials are flown in," Santa said. "If we could get an all-weather road, it would save us millions."

Rather than wait for the government to free up funds for the road, Santa's taken up with Cece McCauley to manufacture and distribute her Women Warrior dolls.

"It's gonna take a lot of dolls to build a road, but I figure I'll stay here to build the dolls and Cece can go to Ottawa and lobby for the road," he said and laughed. "I give the minister six weeks before he cracks."

Needless to say, Robert Nault was added to Santa's "naughty" list.

When pressed for others who might have made the naughty list, Santa declined comment, but sources close to the Pole say all Prime Minister Jean Chretien will get this year, is a stocking full of Kyoto credits.

With the big day rapidly approaching, Santa said he's on right on schedule despite the problems.

"It's going to be the best Christmas ever," Santa assured as he boarded the sleigh. "Merry Christmas, Inuvik, and Happy New Year!"