Jennifer McPhee
Northern News Services

Yellowknife (Nov 20/02) - The day the NWT legislative assembly approved a law allowing same sex couples to adopt children was a beautiful day for Nadine Scott and Shelley Strong.

But it was nothing compared to Oct. 18 -- the day the couple's blond haired baby girl officially belonged to both of them.

Two-year-old Kindred is Strong's biological child, conceived by artificial insemination. The couple fought to change legislation so Scott could legally adopt Kindred.

After an often nasty debate, the legislative assembly passed a law last June giving same sex couples the same spousal benefits as heterosexual couples and allowing them to adopt children.

"For me, it wasn't about changing the law," said Scott. "It was what I had to do to adopt Kindred... But I'm glad we did because other people will benefit from it."

Before the adoption, Scott had no parental rights. She couldn't sign any consent forms and wouldn't automatically get custody if something happened to Strong.

"I saw (Kindred) born," said Scott. "I'm the other parent. So to have that be a tenuous relationship was distressing...it was scary."

"When I think of her now, she's mine, she's my baby, she bears my name. And there's no substitute for that. I think that's what any adoptive parent would want... Now I have the security of knowing we're always going to be a family."

Happy it's over

Having their rights at the mercy of others was frustrating and humiliating. And both women are relieved the process is over.

"There were some really terrible things said. It was awful, not just for us, but for people in the community to have to listen to that hatred."

For a couple who value their privacy, having the details of their lives on public display also wasn't pleasant.

It's nice to gain some anonymity back, they said. And the pressure to constantly prove they are "normal" has eased.

"I've lived in Yellowknife for 12 years," said Scott. "I work at the hospital. I'm a member of the community. I pay taxes, I breathe air. For me, I'm a moral upstanding part of this society. It's annoying to have to say, 'Look, I'm not a freak.'"

They do, however, deeply appreciate everyone who supported or stood up for their rights, including Scott's 23-year-old son Jeremy who considered Kindred his sister right from the beginning.

"Shelley would probably adopt him, if he wasn't 23 years old," said Scott.

Scott and Strong also give credit to Premier Stephen Kakfwi, MLAs who supported the legislation, local media -- and especially to their lawyer Sheila MacPherson for making it clear they were serious about taking the issue to court, if the legislative assembly didn't pass the legislation. Given precedents set across the country, the government was almost certain to lose. MacPherson is reluctant to take any credit, passing it on to the premier and MLAs.

She said her relationship with her own young daughter often crossed her mind while fighting for the couple's rights.

"They are wonderful parents and it's terrific to see this child who is so well loved be part of a legal family unit.

"I became aware as we were advocating for a change in the law of how important family is. We have such different concepts in today's world of family... but they are all really important."

One last hurrah

The day the adoption became official, Scott and Strong celebrated by going out for dinner with close friends and family. And they've invited supporters to attend another celebration on Nov. 24.

So, do they plan to break more ground by getting married?

They both laugh.

"We'll let someone else do that," said Strong. "We'll have a ceremony of our own, but it won't be anything political."