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Life, above all

Every breath is important for Jordy DaCorte. A hug from his grandson makes his day. Every day he wakes up is another to share with his wife Lori. Jordy refuses to let the cancer that's eating away at his body destroy his spirit.

Michele LeTourneau
Northern News Services

Yellowknife (Apr 24/02) - The discovery of blood in his stool took Jordy DaCorte to Stanton Regional Hospital's emergency ward about 10 years ago. The visit yielded a diagnosis of internal hemorrhoids.

NNSL Photo

People may delay discussing symptoms with their doctors because they are too embarrassed and, as a result, diagnosis can be delayed. For colorectal cancer, the difference between an early and late diagnosis can mean the difference between life and death.

An important feature of colorectal cancer is that there are precancerous polyps or lesions that can be removed if detected, which means that cancer doesn't have a chance to develop.

Adopting a diet lower in fat and higher in vegetables, fruit and whole grains, and doing regular exercise are believed to reduce the risk of developing colorectal cancer.

Colorectal cancer sometimes arises without any symptoms. For this reason, screening tests (such as sigmoidoscopy, colonoscopy, and a test for blood in the stool) are recommended to detect the cancer early, when it is more curable. When symptoms do occur, however, they may include the following:

  • a change in bowel habits (such as diarrhea, constipation, and narrowing of the stool) that lasts for more than a few days

  • rectal bleeding or blood in the stool

  • abdominal pain

  • a continuous feeling that you need to have a bowel movement, which does not resolve after passing stool

  • weakness due to the presence of iron-deficiency anemia, which can develop if blood is passing into the stool




  • "(The doctor) just talked to me for about 10 minutes and sent me on," says Jordy. At that time, no internal exam was done.

    The bleeding didn't stop, but Jordy went on with his life. He met Lori at Harley's a couple of years later. They fell in love. Looking for a change, they moved to Calgary and, in 1999, bought a house together.

    Last year, when Jordy was working on the basement, Lori noticed he was losing weight.

    "That was our first heads up," she says. "When finally I found out how much blood he was passing, I made him go to the doctor."

    The doctor performed a rectal exam.

    "She felt the mass there," says Lori. "He went to a specialist, and it was colorectal cancer."

    Colorectal cancer is the third most common cancer among Canadian men and women, and only lung cancer is more common in terms of number of deaths. In 2001, it was expected that 17,200 people would be diagnosed with colorectal cancer, cancer of the colon and/or the rectum. It was also expected that 6,400 people would die as a result.

    According to those numbers, 10,800 people will survive the ordeal. That's because if colorectal cancer is found early, treatment often leads to a cure.

    The cancer spreads

    In March 2001, Jordy underwent an operation that was intended to remove the offending growth, but he soon learned it wouldn't be that simple.

    The cancer had metastasized, which means it had spread, in this case to his liver. He also learned that once a cancer has claimed another organ, it's the hardest kind of cancer to treat. Radiation was out. Doctors started the 41-year-old on chemotherapy. Though initial treatments stabilized his condition it was eventually learned, through another surgical procedure, that the cancer had spread beyond the liver. One of his doctors told Jordy he'd probably had colorectal cancer for at least eight years.

    He was told that once the cancer spreads outside the liver, it's considered body cancer and nothing could be done.

    The effects of the illness and chemotherapy have drastically changed Jordy's appearance. He's left with a thin cap of hair. His cheekbones seem more prominent than they should be. When he smiles, which he does often, you know he's never looked so toothy.

    Jordy is pale, weak and thin. He's dying.

    "They wanted to send me right to a place that sets you up for dying. I said, 'No, I'm not ready for that shit yet.' I think you're gonna go twice as fast if you give up. I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna stay here for the duration."

    Homecoming

    The couple came back to Yellowknife for Lori's sister's wedding. They decided to stay where they could be surrounded with family and friends. The community has gathered around them, bringing them gifts, raising much-needed funds, visiting, and generally showing their love and support -- exactly what they need.

    Though some people are scared to approach him, he's also getting calls from people he hasn't heard from in years.

    "They're just coming out of the woodwork," says Lori. "Overwhelming. I'm just overwhelmed with the amount of friends and people that have been phoning him and coming to see him. There's no words to express everybody's generosity."

    It's too tiring for Jordy to do the visiting, so everyone pops by to see him.

    "I couldn't have been too bad of a guy," he says, grinning.

    On Saturday, friends and family banded together, even forming a committee, to hold a potluck dinner and jam at Con Rec Hall to celebrate Jordy's life and raise funds.

    "People are amazing, that's for sure," says Lori.

    Jordy insists that he's not scared.

    "Hell no," he says. "It's not a nightmare like you said it."

    Lori disagrees.

    "Nightmare, that's a good way to sum it up, as far as I'm concerned," she says. "It's terrifying."

    Part of the terror stems from changes in the man she loves.

    "He's nothing like the old Jordy, except the brain. He used to always be on the go. He couldn't sit still," says Lori.

    "I don't have much energy. If I do something, it takes three days," says Jordy.

    He misses working. Having to sit still -- even climbing a flight of stairs seems a daunting physical act -- drives him nuts. And at night, when he wants to show his wife that he loves her, the simple act of rubbing her back exhausts him. He just doesn't have the energy to hold his arm up.

    Taking care of each other

    The two, who sit closely together on the sofa holding hands, agree that their experiences throughout the last year are very different.

    Jordy quietly says that Lori's getting tired of looking after him.

    "I never get tired of looking after you," she replies, just as quietly.

    "No, but I mean you're always there for me but no one's really there for you," he explains.

    "That's just what I do," she says.

    Lori's scared. Because despite Jordy's emotional and psychological strength, she's losing him. That's a fact.

    "I'm scared, because he's had such a big impact on my life. And he's a wonderful grandfather. We have a two-and-a-half-year old -- that would be Jordy's step-grandson -- but he's the only dad Evan's ever known. He calls him papa. And he's made such an impact on his little life as well."

    The impact goes both ways.

    "He makes my day," says Jordy about the little boy.

    "I babysit him, when I'm there (in Calgary), five nights a week. Having a little grandson is just perfect."

    Jordy's nine-year-old daughter came to Yellowknife to visit recently.

    "I think she's mad at me," he says.

    Lori explains that Jordy's daughter, who was flown up to spend some time with her dad, slammed her body into his. Maybe she thought by making his body real, it wouldn't slip away. Because she knows what this is all about. She has already lost her stepfather's mother to cancer.

    Jordy admits that there's a part of him that doesn't believe his prognosis. But he says he's lived a long life, and that he likes to know that he's going, despite the fact that his life will be a little shorter than he thought it would be.

    "I've lived a good life. I'm not worried about it. Everyone's gotta go. But I'm gonna stick around for a while. I'll be here this summer, out and about."

    Simple pleasures

    An average day in the couple's life includes spending time with company, and enjoying each others' company.

    "We play golf on the Sega, we cook together, we have dinner. One day at a time," says Lori.

    "We talk about normal things. We talk about people mostly, what's happened in our day."

    "One day at a time. Don't think about tomorrow," says Jordy.

    "I wake up every morning and I see him laying beside me, breathing, and I'm happy."

    "Yeah, it's nice to breathe," says Jordy, with another of his irrepressible grins.

    Sometimes Lori gets angry.

    "I think I'm holding back a lot. Last night, for instance, we were on the bed and I looked over at him and I just wanted to beat somebody or something."

    She admits she sometimes wants to grab hold of him and never let him go.

    Jordy says he's flirted with "why me" a couple of times, but he wants to stay away from that. Since his diagnosis, he's seen a lot of small children with cancer.

    "You don't worry about 'why me.' You worry about 'why them.' They're just so fragile."

    He's in charge

    Jordy and Lori have read books. Books about dealing with this impossible situation. Books that let them know what they feel is normal, considering. Books that teach them about cancer. They've learned the details. They've learned to assert themselves with the medical community. They've learned to ask questions, accept certain facts and fight certain so-called facts.

    Jordy, for example, refuses to acknowledge a death sentence. They may say he has only so long to live, but in his mind they have nothing to say about when he goes. That's his decision. He'll go when he's ready. Lori, as the one watching, needs to know a little more. But already she's witnessed her lover's will. One doctor told them Jordy had until March. March has come and gone.

    The fact that there have been several deaths in their immediate circle in the last couple of years -- Jordy's friend died of a heart attack, Lori's mom died, their grandson's twin died of complications at birth -- has made them realize that death is very much a part of life.

    "You never know, you never know..." says Jordy.

    Lori is trying very hard to believe, but these days she has a difficult time. She says she's given up on many of her beliefs.

    "If there is a God.." She can't or maybe doesn't want to finish that sentence.

    But her love for Jordy refocuses her.

    "My job is to take care of him. To make sure he's OK. Then I'll worry about me," she says.

    She pauses. Tears surface. She just loves him.

    Jordy says he's been looking at the world. Things are getting worse and worse. If he's learned anything, he says it's compassion and patience.

    "I can't understand the violence in the world," he says.

    He believes in God; he believes in Jesus.

    "I'm goin' up. I'll know when I'm ready."