Malcolm Gorrill
Northern News Services

Inuvik (Nov 30/01) - Debra English says that the first time she dabbled with alcohol, she never imagined the effect it would eventually have on her.

English drank when quite young, and first got drunk at age 12 when her sister came to visit. English said all her fears left, and she was able to talk freely with her sister then.

Debra English shares her story during the Sober Walk, held as part of National Addictions Awareness Week. - Malcolm Gorrill/NNSL photo

"I thought 'wow, this is cool,'" English recalled.

She became an alcoholic by the time she was 15.

"Part of my drinking was because I didn't want to be shy anymore, I wanted to fit in. I wanted to be a part of things, and I was really quite a loner,"

English explained.

"I grew up in an alcoholic home. I suffered with a lot of pains and tribulations with my family, and my self esteem was low, like most children who come from alcoholics."

English explained that while a teenager, her friends were drinking, so she thought she had to as well. Things gradually progressed to the point where she'd find herself walking outside, not knowing how she got there. She also spent a lot of time drinking beneath buildings in freezing temperatures.

"We did a lot of crazy things. I've been in a couple of accidents in my teenage years that really kind of made me think, but it never made me stop," English said.

"I felt that I was so alone in the world, and there was nobody else like me."

English described her struggle with alcoholism during the Sober Walk, held as part of National Addictions Awareness Week. She said she wants people to understand that recovery is not a simple thing.

English said the first step towards her sobriety came around 1985, when a group from Akalia Lake, B.C. visited Inuvik and described their treatment program.

English said their message was like a ray of hope, and that their presentation stuck with her, even though she quickly resumed drinking.

"It just happens. You have no control, and that's the powerlessness of alcoholism," she said.

"When I'd drink I was happy for about five to 10 minutes, and then the craziness happened."

The turning point came when she was 21. English moved to Yellowknife and became a youth worker. As part of her training, she went through a recovery program, and realized she was an alcoholic. She went with a friend to Alcoholics Anonymous.

"I finally found somebody that could reflect what I had done through my whole life. People who were, like, in their 80s and their 50s and their 40s, I could actually understand them. They understood me."

English said she's been sober now for a number of years, but that the first two were hell.

She said she laughs now at some of the crazy things she did when drinking, and that a really important thing was when she realized that she chose to drink.

"It wasn't my family that told me to drink, it wasn't my friends that made me drink. I chose to take that first drink and I chose to continue drinking."

English said she hopes other people follow her example and sober up. She said AA's 12-step program really works, if people make it work.

"Every day that I get to say that my name is Debbie, and I'm an alcoholic, I know who I am. That's what the 12 steps is all about, knowing who you really are," English said.

"There's a joy about recovery. That's one of the promises -- you will know a whole new freedom, a whole new life."