Kerry McCluskey
Northern News Services

Iqaluit (Sept 03/01) - Nicole Etitiq is a happy, well-adjusted six-year-old.

She won a Citizenship Award at Joamie School last year for lending classroom assistance to her Kindergarten teacher, she's enrolled in swimming and this past summer she took part in day camp.

Nicole is also the only child of a single father.

"It was hard at first, but I have a good kid and she makes it easier," said Kowesa Etitiq, Nicole's dad.

"I see other kids her age and I think I wouldn't be able to do it, but she's smart."

Etitiq has had sole custody of Nicole for more than three years. Now that he has their routines ironed out, things run fairly smoothly. But it has been a tough haul. Etitiq said he wanted to give up during the first year and wished there was a more formal support network -- or a support network of any kind -- for single fathers in Nunavut.

"I've never heard of there being anything for single fathers. I wish there was. When I first started, it would have helped out a lot. When she was three, it would have been nice to have something to turn to," said Etitiq.

Help, please

Etitiq said he would like to see the government or a non-profit organization set up some sort of resource for single fathers and mothers to access. Single parents don't have the time to organize such supportive activities for themselves Etitiq said, and should be able to get the help they need from one or more community associations.

Charlene Johnson, the manager of the family support office in Nunavut, said the brunt of her time was spent enforcing and collecting child and spousal support. She said there are plans to hire a family support officer who might be able to offer help to single parents, although Johnson said the job description still needed to be worked out.

Single fathers also have access to daycare facilities, after-school programs and can participate in the various parenting activities offered through health centres, but it remains a difficult way of life for most.

Some of the financial burdens of childcare are lifted for single parents through a territorial daycare user subsidy, and income support is available to Nunavummiut who are not a part of the workforce.

Child support

The situation has been a difficult one for Ian Rose because to gain custody of his daughter 11 years ago, he had to agree to not ever seek child support.

"I knew if I went to court and had a long, drawn-out court battle, the odds were I was going to lose," said Rose, a resident of Iqaluit.

"Ten years ago, the courts rarely gave parental rights to a father.

It happens more now, but it was uncommon. There were trade-offs I had to make and that made it tough," he said.

Shouldering the responsibility alone was a reality he accepted with custody of now 16-year-old Stephanie, but Rose would also like to see structured support developed. He said he created a circle of friends with similar lives to give him people to seek advice from.

"Single dads get to know other single dads and you compare notes ... you bounce ideas off them and ask if they've dealt with that. You realize you're not alone out there and you're not the only one who had to deal with this," said Rose.

He remembers picking Stephanie up from school and bringing her back to work with him and has grown to regret that his child grew up faster than her peers with two parents.

"Sometimes she's lacked that childhood. She's had to do more around the house and takes on more roles," he said.

But, despite the financial hardships, the constant, competing demands and the lack of a social life, Rose said he wouldn't trade a moment of the last decade.

"Has it been a good experience? Absolutely. Would I do it again if the same situation came up? Absolutely."