Dave Sullivan
Northern News Services
Yellowknife (Jun 20/01) - Death used to be a vague notion to Dody Cargill.
The very thought, which became an unfortunate reality in February 2000 for the long-time Yellowknifer, had never crossed her mind.
"I wasn't going to get cancer," Cargill said. With no cancer ever surfacing for at least five generations of family history, it was the last thing she thought would ever happen to her.
Today, the 63-year-old is in the fourth, or last, stage of cancer, the one in which she realizes "there's no way out. You're going to die."
Mentally and physically she feels fine, but has no idea when the breast cancer will bring her down. She just feels lucky its progress is slow. Doctors said the cancerous cells could have been building up for the past seven years.
While visiting stepchildren in Edmonton two years ago, Dody randomly stuck a thumb against her skin, and the skin didn't bounce like it normally does. She called her family doctor, Shereen Mansouri, and an appointment was set for a few days later.
Another visit was scheduled with Dr. Michael Haskins, a surgeon. She knew it would be bad news when he insisted that her husband, Jim, go too.
Sitting on an examination table, she and Dr. Haskins had a talk. He used the table's fresh paper covering to show what was happening by drawing sketches on it.
Dody recalls thinking at the time the miserable job doctors have, regularly giving patients such bad news.
Dody says she has always been defiant, and still is.
"You have to be ruthless in your approach. Let nothing interfere with your treatment."
This includes following doctors' orders, taking pills at the same times every day and throwing everything you've got at the disease. At the same time remember "none of the treatments are a silver bullet."
Range of treatments
Along with traditional therapies Dody encourages others to try alternatives at the same time, as long as they're OK with the doctor. She prefers tea that's made from a blend of Indian rhubarb, slippery elm bark, a leafy plant called sheep sorrel and burdock, which is a kind of burr.
Radiation therapies don't work for lymphatic cancer, because it spreads through the body in the bloodstream.
She'll start chemotherapy if the cancer attacks an organ.
Dody figures hormone suppressants are helping because the disease has been "static for the past four months." The cancer feeds on hormones, speeding its spread.
Dreams
Dody knows she's lucky, having tried pretty much everything she's really wanted in her life. Except being part of a cattle drive. She likes to play the stock market and doesn't seem terribly upset about losing $40,000 in Nortel stock.
She's also glad to be spared growing old, because of the loss of control over living that old age brings with it.
"I want to go out with a bit of class," she said. She also doesn't want to outlive friends.
Dody moved to Yellowknife in 1977 and 20 years later retired as an administrator for the GNWT's Finance department.
Her son, Sean, lives in Yellowknife. Her oldest son, Phillip, lives near Ottawa and daughter Cynthia lives in Comox, B.C. Each of her children have provided her with a grandchild. There are also two stepchildren.
"A lot of people who will die are a lot worse off than me," she muses.
Perceptions
A few people treat her differently now.
When faking people's typical sympathetic reactions, Dody curls her lip: "Did you hear about poor old ..." her voice trails for a moment. "It's as if you're as good as dead."
But when family and friends do die, "We have to change our attitude, it's shameful."
At plenty of funerals she's attended, many of which were for cancer victims, it bothered her the way people are laid out in coffins, as though they're just asleep. As though family and friends haven't yet accepted they're dead.
Dody wants people to realize that for more and more people, cancer is no longer a death sentence. New types of medication and rapid research advances means victims are living longer than ever. One friend lived an extra 12 years by fine-tuning treatments over time. She believes the right attitude can add years of life to cancer victims.
Dody also says she believes the rapid pace of cancer breakthroughs means "if you can stay alive for the next five years, you'll be OK."
She feels the most unfair part is the burden for husband Jim, because his first wife Alma also died of cancer in 1992.
"He doesn't deserve this."
Jim and Dody married five years ago. Dody was a widow before that. Her first husband died of a sudden heart attack in 1986.
Never having discussed death saddled Dody with decisions she didn't know if he'd like, such as whether to bury or cremate.
She won't be putting Jim or her children through that. The headstone is already up.
"All they have to do is etch in the day I die."
