Handling the pain after a break up
Kerry McCuskey
Northern News Services
Baker Lake (Apr 25/01) - A broken heart is painful and horrible. There's nothing to do except roll with the punches and hope it stops -- sooner rather than later.
A pint of double chocolate-chip ice cream, a feast of muktaaq and the support of friends eases the hurt, but nothing except time can relieve the anguish that goes hand-in-hand with being dumped.
Lucy in Baker Lake has been on the roller-coaster ride of love more than once. Now happily ensconced in a 16-year relationship, she has had her heart broken "a few times" before she found Mr. Right.
So Lucy, any words of advice to those who are not so lucky?
"I would ask them to talk about it and cry if they want to and say a prayer for themselves and ask for strength," said Lucy.
That said, the question that had to be asked was whether or not Lucy handled her own break-ups in such a manner.
"I cried, I talked to somebody, I cried again and cried and cried and cried until I was all cried out. I ate and ate and I listened to music."
Lucy also said she took the painful lessons she'd learned into her next relationship and used her hard-won knowledge to navigate her way around matters of the heart.
In Coral Harbour, Kenneth Ningeongan has been fortunate enough to be on the dumping end in most of his relationships.
"There's always other fish in the sea," said Ningeongan, who got married last year.
However, he hasn't been able to completely avoid heart-wrenching pain. At six or seven years of age, Ningeongan lost a little sister to leukaemia and just a few years later, lost a grandmother.
"They were both really close to me. It really hurt me. I told myself I had to let go because they're in a better place," he said.
Ningeongan also said he relied heavily upon the support of his father, his children, his wife and all his other relatives to get him through the tough spots.
John Kaufman, the manager of the Co-op in Repulse Bay, has also miraculously managed to avoid checking into the heartbreak hotel. Married for the last 30 years -- to the same person -- Kaufman thought he might have had his heart ripped in two during his teenage years, but later said he didn't think so.
"I can't even say my heart has been broken," said Kaufman.
