Mother sheds shame
Terry Halifax
Northern News Services
Hay River Dene Reserve (Mar 19/01) - Georgina Fabian never knew the harmful effects of alcohol on her unborn child.
With her father dying of cancer and living through a bad relationship in an alcohol-fueled environment, the young woman drank to ease the pain of her life.
"The only way I knew how to handle it was drinking," Fabian said. "I wasn't even aware that I was pregnant with my daughter until months later."
Her daughter was born with spina bifida. For years, she tortured herself with guilt and lashed out at those around her before finally coming to grips with the situation.
"It's so easy to blame other people; residential school and feel sorry for myself, but the thing is, it happened and now I have to take responsibility," she said. "No matter how much I blame for what happened to my daughter, it's not going to make it any better."
Without tears and without shame she recalled how she finally spoke the words she'd thought a thousand times.
"The only thing we can do, is say, I have a child that's got a problem," she continued.
Fabian credits her strength gained to her new husband, her immediate and extended family who provided her unconditional love and support.
Although confined to a wheelchair, her daughter has completed high school and now attending college.
She advises her daughters and other women to watch their cycle and says a healthy baby needs the cooperation from two healthy parents.
"If you're in a relationship and you want to have a child you need the husband's support," Fabian said.
"He has to not drink for that nine months."
For mothers of affected children she offers her experience as encouragement.
"I wasn't aware that these people could be successful," she said. "There is hope."
