Richard Gleeson
Northern News Services

NNSL (Nov 04/98) - With six months of darkness and cold ahead, this is the toughest time of the year to feel optimistic.

Of course, there are those among us who, regardless of the weather, seem to thrive on doom and gloom. If these folks can't find something good to say about someone -- whether it's their co-workers, bosses or neighbours -- they make up something bad.

"Why complain?" asked Rosalie Power, Mayor Dave Lovell's secretary. "Where's that going to get you?"

True enough, but doesn't listening to gripers take its toll?

"Oh no. I've got a really close friend and that's all he does. So far, he hasn't had a legit complaint and I've known him for 10 or 12 years. I just love listening to him. I think it's really funny."

So, from Power, we learn the first lesson in avoiding being sucked into the vortex of winter glumness: laugh it off.

The second lesson comes courtesy of a Gary Dormody, vice-principal of Ecole St. Joseph's school -- try to listen.

"I'm good at lending a sympathetic ear and, if I can do something to help, I try to," said Dormody.

"I think most people who are griping are just looking for someone to talk to.

They're probably trying to find someone with the same complaint, someone with something in common with them."

OK, people who want to talk about their problems are one thing, recreational complainers are another thing entirely.

"If it's a friend of mine and I've noticed it's been going on for a long time, I would say something," said Pat Gower, who runs a private counselling practice in town. "I'd say every time they open their mouth they have something negative to say."

Gower said illness, such as depression, can cause people to gripe. People who aren't ill, but complain continuously, may be blaming others for feelings of dissatisfaction they have with themselves.

"Often times when we feel dissatisfied, the last place we want to look for the source of that feeling is in ourselves," said Gower.

"It's much easier to look outside of yourself ... to attribute your bad feelings to all these other things and people."

That makes sense. Maybe rather than fleeing gripers or nodding our heads as the complaints go in one ear and out the other, we should try to keep in mind what the griping is really about.

Do your part, hug a griper today.