Marty Brown
Northern News Services

RANKIN INLET (Nov 11/98) - The woman sitting on the couch is bright, working and seems in charge of her destiny. She's articulate and confident.

But she hasn't always been like this. Nancy was once a drinker, a serious drinker and her real name has been changed so she can share her story.

Nancy grew up in a religious home. Neither of her parents drank, but when her husband died, she was young and lonely. She started drinking then. "It was almost as if I was looking for an excuse," she said.

"I drank for four-and- a-half years. I was a weekend drunk, a binge drinker who blacked out often," said the mother of three.

Nancy was living with a man who also drank and used to beat her. She missed at least one week a month at her job because she was ashamed of the bruises on her body. She used to blame herself for the beatings. Her self-esteem was non-existent.

Nancy lived this life for four-and-a-half years, and one day, she woke up and thought this is not the lifestyle she wanted. She realized she was setting a very poor example for her children who were five, eight and nine years old. They were starting to drift away.

Luckily, there was help available. She phoned the Department of health and social services and told them to put her on the first plane out for treatment. When she left home, she knew she was a sick person.

She needed help and she also knew she'd never drink again.

Unfortunately, she had to wait a month for an opening at Yellowknife Additions Services, but it was worth it.

"The program opened my eyes. I realized I had a disease. It's incurable but I can prevent it by staying away from alcohol."

While in the program, Nancy worked on building her self-esteem, did art therapy, learned about nutrition, participated in group and individual counselling.

"I was lucky. AA was there for me when I got home."

Was it easy? No. Nancy had "drunk dreams" where she dreamed she was drinking good-tasting beer. "I'd wake up in a cold sweat saying a silent prayer, please let it be a dream."

The first three months were the hardest. It would have been so easy to reach for a drink, but she doesn't miss the Saturday morning hangovers. Besides, she'd committed herself to a life without alcohol. She's now reconnected with her kids.

Nancy credits AA with helping keep her stay sober. It keeps her life sane and is a place to talk about personal problems she said. Her family and church helped Nancy through some rough spots, as well as health-care workers.

"Alcohol is not for me, but believe me, there is life after alcohol."