SOMBA K'E/YELLOWKNIFE
As she watched the glowing paper lantern float across the night sky toward the bright moon, Shannon Damaskine's thoughts were centered on the loss she and five other women have suffered in recent years.

Members of Yellowknife support group Face2Face light a paper lantern at Pilot's Monument Tuesday evening. The lanterns symbolized support for women who have suffered pregnancy or infant loss and honoured the memories of the lost babies. - Candace Thomson/NNSL photo

Damaskine is part of Face2Face, a support group put together by Jennifer Young and Jaime MacKay for families and friends of families who have faced infant or pregnancy loss. She and the other five regular members met atop Pilot's Monument on Tuesday evening to release lanterns, most donated by Young's father, Rod Carey, in honour of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

Countless women and families across the world released lanterns at 7 p.m. their time, which was meant to symbolize a ray of light that crossed the time zones.

"I was thinking it was a beautiful way to honour the memory of our lost children and recognize that loss," Damaskine said. "We've all been touched by loss, but that's why we were all together."

It was only a few months ago, on May 5, that Damaskine lost her daughter Daisy at 21 weeks after an abrupt and unexplainable complication with her pregnancy resulted in Daisy's death.

"It just happened - sometimes you don't really have an answer and you have to accept the unknown and try to push through that," she said.

After losing Daisy, Damaskine said she felt very alone.

"It's a very isolated feeling to go through it, and I feel it's so taboo, still. Nobody will talk about it and they don't know what to say, and a lot of people don't say anything," she said.

Jaime MacKay reached out to Damaskine, and she joined the support group. The group meets the second Saturday of every month to share their stories and have discussions about coping with tragedies.

"It gave me the support that I needed from people who understood the magnitude of the loss," Damaskine said.

"There comes healing from reaching out and you help other people at the same time."

Kerry Lynn Durnford was also there to release lanterns and show support for her friends in the group. Durnford has experienced one ectopic pregnancy, where the fetus implants outside the uterine cavity, and two early pregnancy losses.

As a registered nurse, her experience led her to study early pregnancy and infant loss as part of her master's degree. It was through this work and shared losses that Durnford met Jennifer Young and became involved in Face2Face.

Durnford said there is a lack of support for women, and one of the hardest issues to get past is that many don't talk about their loss.

"From the moment they realize they're pregnant, for many women, it symbolizes their hopes and dreams - their future," she said. "Whether they've lost that baby at eight weeks or later it still can be equally as devastating."

Aside from Face2Face, there is no real support in Yellowknife for women who have suffered a miscarriage or death of an infant. The group is not a medical support group, nor are they trained counsellors, but Young said the point is that they're more like a group of friends who have all gone through the same thing, and they are always open to women, families and friends of those who have gone through baby loss.

"It's a very friendly environment that we provide with other women who understand what it's like to go through a loss," Young said. "If people aren't comfortable coming to the meetings, we have a Facebook page and we respond to any private messages, or post on the page, and we can provide support through both avenues."

For Damaskine and Durnford, the group helped them through life-changing and devastating grief, and allowed them to help other women at the same time.

"There's nothing you can ever do to prepare yourself emotionally for what you're going to face," Damaskine said.

"I hope other people are open to reaching out to them and finding that support because I don't know where I would be without it."

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