Jennifer Geens
Northern News Services

Yellowknife (Nov 18/05) - Who hasn't had to deal with a difficult client, co-worker or boss?

A workshop at Aurora College offers helpful tactics to those caught on the frontlines in a war of words.

Darcy Pennock, a former police officer based in Edmonton, offers workshops in verbal judo.

Employers often take it for granted that employees have the communication skills they need, said Pennock. But when it comes to deflecting verbal abuse, most people are unprepared.

"You'd think police would be best at that, but even most of them haven't had the proper training," he said.

Over the years he has trained clients as diverse as government workers, park rangers, teachers, call centre operators and the Calgary Police Department.

Verbal judo is a series of approaches people can use to deal with people Pennock terms "difficult."

Half of Pennock's two-day workshop helps workers develop a professional mindset by learning to leave their ego outside the workplace.

"Ego is bad," he said. "The more my ego comes into it, the less influence I have with people."

When faced with verbal abuse, most people get defensive and may overreact. Pennock teaches five steps, ranging from rational to practical to personal appeals, to defuse situations. Nine out of 10 times difficult people comply by step three, he said.

Pennock also explains to workshop participants that how you say something is often more important than what you say.

"Eighty per cent of complaints are about attitude," he said.

One of the principles Pennock relies on is the Golden Rule, and he's always surprised how few people remember what that is. A tenet of Christianity, the Rule asks people to treat others as they would wish to be treated.

"The moment I start to talk down to someone, I'm disrespecting myself," he said.