Darrell Greer
Northern News Services

Arviat (Aug 24/05) - Arviat's Billy Ukutak knows the searing pain associated with suicide all too well.

A community counsellor at Qitiqliq High, Billy lost his son, Davy (Tagak) Ukutak, to suicide a little more than four years ago.

At only 19 years of age, Davy was in the prime of his youth at the time of his death.

An accomplished hunter and mechanic, Davy had numerous traditional skills and, many thought, a bright future ahead. Billy said all the accomplishments of his son's life, and all his hopes for the future, ended in one night.

"That evening Davy made the wrong choice and it was horrible when he died," said Billy.

"People who have lost loved ones to suicide will know what I mean when I say it's very hard to put into words what you feel at the time.

"The pain is so unbearable."

The Ukutak family would not talk about Davy's death for a long time after he took his own life.

Billy said he now realizes that's the worst thing a family can do when struggling to cope with their loss.

He now openly discusses how it affected his family to lose Davy to suicide, and how they supported each other and came to terms with his death.

"Davy's death still hurts, but the sting is not there any more.

"We love our son, our brother, our grandson - but he's gone.

"Maybe we could have helped him if we knew how he was feeling, but he didn't tell us and that's why he's dead.

"That's why people commit suicide, because they don't talk to anyone.

"Suicide is still hush-hush in our communities and that's not the way to go to beat this problem."

Billy said suicide has to be brought out into the open so people are comfortable with discussing it in order to come up with different solutions.

He said the problem will never be solved if people only discuss it in whispers behind closed doors.

"If we want to stop losing youth to suicide, we have to start talking about it as adults.

"We have to make our youth understand how many people suicide really hurts and that it's not the answer.

"There's nothing positive about taking your own life. Nothing!!

"These things won't happen overnight, but we have to start now.

"For our youth who may be struggling, we need to convince them to talk to someone before it's too late and not keep all their emotions bottled up inside."