Michele LeTourneau
Northern News Services

Yellowknife (June 26/02) - Preparing for an interview with Mother Nature, the Big Mama, currently known to me as Mommy, isn't easy.

All of us sit in Mother Nature's lap. Some of us whine the whole day through. But some of us, like young Nicolas Rossouw, know how to enjoy the gifts she bestows upon us. - Mike W. Bryant/NNSL photo

First on the list: review attitude. One must attain a certain level of objectivity. But one is not a happy Northerner. One has expectations that are not being met. One comes from the prairies where pounding rains take over for three days. As a new Northerner, one whines, "I miss the sound of the rain...But you see, I don't. I don't miss getting soggy.

The point is one gets to laugh at others' wet misfortunes while one sits high and dry in the sub-Arctic. We are a desert clime, are we not? Or have I been deceived? It's been raining and raining and raining. But hey, I'm respectful. What do I know about ecosystems and the balance of world climate?

OK. Backtrack. I tried whining about our last snowfall to family down south -- you know what they said to me? So what. SO WHAT?? Yeah, so what. Turns out snow had fallen on them just two days prior. What's the point of living up here if you can't brag about the never-ending frigid terrors you're living through?

Back to the interview. Have you ever tried reaching Mother Nature? She's not the most available mother in the world. One senses a lot of animosity. She's like Martha Stewart gone mad, surrounded by flacks who won't put you through.

"She's a very busy woman," says public affairs.

"She's on travel duty," says internal affairs.

"She's dealing with drought in (an undisclosed location)," says external affairs.

"But I'm from Yellowknife, you know, really far away from everybody, and we'd really like to know what's happening..."

There's a pause, with muffled activity in the background. Then a penetrating voice comes on the line.

"What on earth do you want?"

"Um, like, um, how come we're getting so much rain?"

In a harsh voice like I haven't heard in years, she says:

"You wanna cry? I'll give you something--"

The power went out and my cordless went dead.

"Mommy?"