NNSL (Jan 31/97) - Three young men, age 13 to 15, have been involved in a healing group at Life Works Counselling Services with the support of the Department of Heal and Social Services. Their names are being withheld for confidentiality.

This is their side of the story.

All: We are healing from the hurt of being abandoned.

Boy 1: "I was being babysat by one of my mom's friends. My mom came home drunk lots. There was violence. My mom's friend phoned the police. They took me to a foster home.

Boy 2: "I remember I was seven years old and my brother was five, my mother went to the bar to drink and left us alone in the house."

Boy 3: "My dad kept drinking, he kept going out, I was home alone, when he came home there was a lot of violence so my next-door neighbor called the police and I went back to a foster home."

Boy 2: "At first, going into foster care felt strange, I was worried because I did not know what would happen. At first I thought they would be mean ... "

Boy 3: "I felt scared ... "

All: Alcohol took control of our parent's lives and our parents abandoned their responsibility to take care of us.

Boy 3: "Abandonment hurts a lot."

Boy 2: "It didn't make me feel very happy. I felt like my mom didn't love me -- she just left."

Boy 1: "I felt alone."

All: We started getting into problems in school and in life.

Boy 2: "I got suspended from school for swearing at the teacher. I learned from my parents' and my own anger."

Boy 3: "I got into fights. It came out in anger and I ended up in more trouble. I was picking on other people and skipping school."

Boy 1: "I tried to take the easy way out and ended up with more problems in school."

Boy 3: "I ran away."

All: We are working on taking responsibility for our stuff.

Boy 2: "It is scary at first. It feels pretty good because I am learning to deal with things more appropriately."

Boy 1: "I try not to lose it with my anger, feelings, or actions. I set rules for myself."

Boy 3: "I am not blaming others."

All: We are telling the truth. It takes courage to deal with our problems and feelings in the most appropriate way.

Boy 2: "I am working on not getting mad and trying to talk about it."

Boy 1: "Don't spaz out; talk them out."

All: Together we are working on expressing and feeling our feelings and not running from them. We are working together and supporting each other. We check in and out and let others know where we are at.

We have each made a choice to heal.

Boy 2: "So I don't have to put up with all the problems in my life."

Boy 3: "I don't want to run away from my problems and be stuck with them all my life."

Boy 1: "I want to solve my problems, so I don't get into trouble in life. Life works."